The Chopper Compendium

I need to vent..I don't usually drop a shitload of my own problems onto other people because I simply think that whatever is going on with me, should stay with me and be dealt with in private but damn it, I need to say something. The course of my life has taken a little side trip and now i'm getting divorced after almost 15 years of marriage...for one, infidelity on her part is the main reason why we are finally getting divorced. why did we wait so long, you may ask? i thought i could get over her affairs, yeah, i said affairs, 3 in total, and some sexting that had started last february, but that has proven to be impossible. the affairs happened in 1998 and the sexting was the last hurrah for it all. but, i'm not all squeaky clean either...well...in regards to me sleeping around i am. i've never pursued an extramarital affair even after learning about her affairs 14 years ago. trust me, i thought about it, just to see if that would set it straight/even the score, but i never did. my weapon of choice was verbal and mental abuse. i say abuse because i would say things that would hurt her feelings because i felt that if i felt pain for what she did to me, then she was going to experience the pain i was feeling. that went on for a few years when i realized that it wasn't helping in any way and i started to soul search. i eventually came to terms with it all and made peace with it, but the memories and inadequate feelings stayed around..

now here's the kicker..we decided to get divorced the tuesday after this past christmas and she moved out that following thursday...no big deal...i was actually happy to see it happen since we've both been really unhappy with each other for years..but yesterday, i found out that she's already got a new guy in her life...and she didn't even have to tell me..she was with him on saturday when i took my son to her so she could take our son to a mini golf place with her new man and he was with her this afternoon when i went to pick him up. and the thing is, i know the guy. he and his family are bad news, but i can't tell my ex that. and it pisses me off that she is "with him." because i know him and his family and they are all losers.

but i'm excited about this divorce...no more do i have to be around the woman who started the destruction of our marriage and i don't have to worry if i'm pleasing her enough. i can pursue all of my life goals to the fullest and that includes my biker lifestyle that i've wanted for years.

but one more thing..i'm not looking for another relationship...i'm staying single because that's the way i've wanted it for years...so if any of you who look at this post are single women...i'm not interested...i love women..always have always will..but i'm done with relationships..the only relationships i want are with my son, my philosophical beliefs, and my family and friends.

thanks for giving me the ability to get this off my chest..i feel better now..but what would make me even better would be a cruise around town on my brand new, hand built chopper...but alas, sitting in front of my laptop will have to suffice for now...

thanks!! venting complete.

war tribe

Hugs - apart from the obvious role-reversal this sounds a vey familiar story to me......

Maz xx

Sorry about your troubles. You are right to see the opportunity here.
I commend your concern for your son.
You have the right to voice those to authorities if needed.

Response is a different story tho, sadly.
Documentation is important for possible future action tho.
Something to keep in mind.
Speaking as someone who has seen too many children hurt by action or inaction by so-called responsible adults.

Good luck.

thanks guys...i don't feel so pent up now..everything between her and i have remained very friendly and civil and that's the only way i want it to be. no sense in continuing the misery. i just can't wait until the divorce is final..the paperwork goes to the clerk's office on friday, she's dropping it off, paying the fee and wait for 60 days. and then, i'm a free and single man!

april 10th and i'm a single dad. what's ironic is that that's 5 days after my 15th anniversary being married to her. weird. getting married and divorced in the same month only 15 years and 5 days apart. truly weird. but man, i can't be any happier right now.

Happily divorced is my description for that

still not divorced yet..some paperwork didn't get filed like it should have been and it was missing information on it so it's been delayed until the corrected paperwork gets handed over and ran by the judge...uuuugggghhhh..i'm so tired of waiting...but it's almost there...good grief i hope so...

ok, now i'm officially divorced. WOOHOO!!! As of April 30, I have joined the league of free men who have a child or children. I'm so glad it's over. Phew!! Onward and upward!!